Transformers: Dark of the Moon

My Grade:  B-

I didn’t think it was possible to be more over-the-top than Transformers 2; but I was wrong.  But “over-the-top” would be an understatement for this film.  Never have I seen so many CG robots, explosions, buildings toppling over, etc.  And, to be honest, it is some very solid adrenaline junky fun for about an hour and 45 minutes.  In case you were wondering, the film is a staggering 2 hours and 37 minutes and, let’s face it, it’s no Scarface or Lord of the Rings.

    

I saw Dark of the Moon in 3D and I was blown away, visually.  Just like the past two movies, watching hundred-thousand dollar cars transform into robots is breathtaking (kudos to the CG artists), but it is out of this world in 3D.  Surprisingly, however, the visuals weren’t the only thing worth watching here.  Unlike number 2, this film has some heart.  It’s not much but it’s there.  Sam’s (Shia LaBeouf) need to feel useful and his want to matter in the world really gives us something to latch on to and relate to.  Leave it to Michael Bay to not get too deep into his characters, but he gives us a little here which is nice.  

    

We can’t go any further here without discussing the addition of the British bombshell Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.  I’m not sure how I feel about a hyphenated last name but I am so glad that she replaced the lifeless Megan Fox.  We can all agree that Fox was nothing more than arm candy for LaBeouf and eye candy for the audience.  Huntington-Whiteley isn’t much more, but she does play a key role in saving the day (I won’t say more since I didn’t write “spoiler alert”), which is played out very well in a strong setup and payoff fashion.  Also, for a Victoria’s Secret model she is not a terrible actress.  O yea, and she is a good deal more attractive than Megan Fox.

    

Enough about unattainable, stunningly gorgeous actresses; let’s talk about the big problem of the film:  length.  The first 20 or so minutes of the film could be cut down to about 7 and the final 45 minutes could be cut to about 20.  There’s 38 minutes of waste right there (haven’t they heard of the “cutting room floor”?).  I agree that we need to know the background of how this fictitious story ties in with real history (which was a bit of a stretch if you ask me... go see X-Men:  First Class to learn how to tie a movie in with history), but we don’t need so much of it - we want to see robot on robot violence!  But, to contradict myself a little, we don’t want to see so much robot on robot violence.  The final battle has some epic parts and it is really nice that they destroy Chicago instead of LA or NY like every other movie does; however, it... just... drags... on... and... on... and... on... and... on.......  Just get to the big battle between Optimus Prime and Megatron already, ya know?

    

The other way to save some time is to start showing us the story later in the story.  What I mean is that what should be the inciting incident (that’s a screenwriting term for the event that kicks off the main problem in the story) doesn’t happen until 50 or so minutes in.  It may be earlier but it certainly seems like 50 minutes.  That’s just bad writing.  I do have to give kudos to the screenwriter, though, for some of the twists.  I was completely caught off guard at one of the twists and I normally see things like that coming... way to go Ehren Kruger.  

    

As expected, the visuals are what hold this movie together and make it tolerable.  I know a B minus is better than “tolerable” but part of me giving it a B is that it is so much better than Bay’s last Transformers effort.  Dark of the Moon definitely benefits from a rotten predecessor.  As I leave you, I have to mention Ken Jeong.  Seeing him in this film caught me off guard, but he absolutely steals the show for the few minutes he is on screen.  Look for him, watch him, love him, then miss him when he... well, isn’t on screen anymore (no spoilers!!!)