Mortdecai

Written by Clam Sepulveda

(note:  Clam's thoughts do not necessarily reflect Nolan's thoughts on the film)

Clam's Grade:  D

Well that was just terrible - yes, just awful. I cannot actually count the number of times I rolled my eyes when I was watching the movie, and they actually had the gumption to make it Rated R. If I can't think of anything shocking the entire two hours, except a ton of sexual innuendoes (which no child will probably get it). There were no PPs or BBs, BLs or VGs visible - but they talked about them a lot. If you don't get my cryptic abbreviations feel free to ask. But, honestly, it may be the worst movie so far this year, and I hate dissing some great actors, but one must ask "why"? The only really interesting character was poor Jock, and that was just bizarre. I really can't say anymore - I can't. This movie makes my head hurt to think about. It makes me question why I didn't see that Jennifer Lopez movie instead (and that's pretty bad). Ultimately, rent it on DVD if you love Johnny Depp that much... then you can fast forward.

About the Author

Clam writes for The Outlook, a local paper in Newton, NC. He is an actor in live theater, film, and television and has been reviewing movies for nearly fifteen years. Some day he hopes to get his big break, and maybe make it to Broadway. Please feel free to e-mail you questions or comments HERE.